About

Who am I? That would be as easy to tell you as gripping mercury. I am a Christian, a dreamer, a lover and fighter, a thinker, a prankster, an old soul. I love reading, writing, and music. I think “indubitably” is the best word ever and that peppers are the only things created by the devil. I still save moths that get into my house. I like to give people a poker face when they tell a joke just to mess with them. I think that I think too much, though I also think that I feel more than that, and that is fine by me.

My life has been a series of adventures. I was sent to the Chateau D’If and leapt from its cliffs to freedom. I have beaten the Fire Swamp and bested a prince. I traveled many roads from home to throw a magical ring into a volcano. I watched my older brother be condemned to Siberia for murdering my father while I served as a novitiate in the local church. I have worn a mask to hide my face and write operas beneath the opera house, hoping to find love to set me free. I was a foolish magician, able to turn a unicorn into a girl but not back again. I stole silver candlesticks, but was then given them by M. Myriel. I was a simple country priest, serving my flock with love beyond my own. I have bested windmills and giants. At the end of my days, I fought with my old enemies: Falsehood, Cowardice, Compromise, but died with only one thing: my panache. My life is a story to be told.

I am currently a student of Creative Writing, though I previously studied Theology for about 3 years.

I also enjoy photography a bit. You can check out my Flickr here.

Oh, I almost forgot the requisite braggadocio required for a full ‘About’ page. I am the best writer ever. I write better than Shakespeare and Dostoevsky and Dumas . My writing is like a cappuccino kiss in a thunderstorm while doing a handstand on a motorcycle and fencing a shark with a yatagahn made out of the world’s biggest carrot. I write the most innovative stuff since astronaut ice cream. Sometimes I’m so amazing I amaze myself with my own amazement at my amazingness. Crap. That was all supposed to be in third person. Christian doesn’t like to refer to his own awesomeness in third person though: he is FAR too humble and giving to refuse to do so. Christian once drop-kicked a bear, killing it instantly, only to bring it back to life and befriend it. Christian named him “Insert Pretentious Literary Reference Here”. It was a bit long, but Christian knows it’s the best bear name ever given to a bear that was drop-kicked to death, raised from the dead, and befriended by a human. Has Christian sufficiently made his point as to how asinine he finds the arrogance and absurdity many writers jam into their ‘About’ pages? Of course he did because Christian is just amazing like that.

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