“Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.” – 1 Peter 2:12 (NLT)
I ran from Christianity for a long time. Having grown up Catholic, I saw so little of the Christ I now cling to. By no means did I find Him within myself and my own actions. All I saw were Christians being un-Christlike.
Let me assure you this in no castigation of only Catholics. Christians of all sorts — the fact that this needs specified is a completely separate problem — have given up trying to live the life of faith. At least it seems like it.
Not that it is an official study or quantifiable, but I have been treated worse by my fellow Christians than by anyone else. All the more is knowing what it is that we, they, are called to. What is it that prevents us from living our faith? There are many specific reasons, but if I had to reduce them to one general notion it is that Jesus is not first in our lives.
We become angry with others rather than forgiving and bearing with them as Christ would have us do. Why? Because we have chosen to put our pride before others. We spend all our money on ourselves rather than for the good of the Kingdom. Why? Because we have valued material goods over heavenly riches.
This is not simple to hear. It hurts. I know because I have had to face both those examples myself. I still fail but by grace I have come far. Still further I must go but I have started that path and not of my own strength.
Lean on grace and strength not your own to live what you believe. Even if you could do it by your own hand, there is no value to be found. Accept that you will always fail, but by God try. Try and try and try. And even if you fail every single time from now until your last sight, try. Not being perfect is no excuse for not chasing what is.