Rain, rain, go away

“For He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.” –  Matthew 5:45 (KJ21)

I am having one of those stretches where it seems like anything, and everything, I do goes wrong. As best as I can tell, I have forgotten every skill I have learned as well as losing any luck (which I don’t believe in) I had. In between the regression of all my abilities, I am failing at everything else, failing everyone I care about.

I can’t help but feel discouraged right now. The sun rises to meet me; the rain has been sent. If I were being honest, it is a time when I doubt that I am “the good”, “the just”. I know who I am in Christ but it can be so hard to see with so many tears.

My vision is salty, blurred and burning. I am cold. Blind.

But I don’t need my eyes for faith. My spirit sees what my eyes can not. Though there be teardrops in my spirit too, they can not blind me to God’s love.

Each beat of my heart tells me, “I love you, child.” Each tear, plucked from me and resting in the hands of the Father. And He keeps them, forgetting not a one.

Sorrow washes clean all my heart of all the crusted filth. I feel reborn. My eyes are new again; I see the world as it is once more. Still, I am left weary, weak. I must grow strong once more and build upon this new foundation. But I will not forget the tears. Just as God has kept them, so too will I keep them — they will be treasured within my heart.

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